Sweet Bobby: the boyfriend behind a whole world of lies

A relationship with its own supporting cast

Assi, a marketer and radio presenter, knew of Bobby through their London Sikh community. Their messages became a friendship, then a romantic relationship. When he described serious injuries overseas, she also began communicating with people presented as his friends and relatives.

Those additional contacts mattered. To someone inside the relationship, a message from a relative could appear to confirm what Bobby was saying. On her own website, Assi describes a deception involving more than 50 characters, including identities connected to people she knew of in real life.

Sources: Netflix Tudum — interview with Kirat Assi · Kirat Assi — her account and support resources

The man at the door

As the relationship became more controlling and evasive, Assi sought out Bobby in person. The man she found looked like the person in the pictures but said he did not know her. An actual person’s identity had been used to make the online relationship believable.

The person behind the messages was Assi’s cousin, Simran Bhogal. TIME reported that Bhogal had also impersonated supporting friends and relatives. The apparent web of reassurance led back to the same person.

Sources: Netflix Tudum — interview with Kirat Assi · TIME — the story and civil settlement behind Sweet Bobby

What happened afterward

Assi received compensation and a private apology in a 2021 civil settlement. That is the legal outcome described here; it is not a criminal conviction. Her story later became a Netflix documentary, released in October 2024.

In an interview accompanying the film, Assi described the value of support from people who had experienced coercive control. She also spoke about wanting room for her own work and life beyond the case.

Sources: TIME — the story and civil settlement behind Sweet Bobby · Netflix Tudum — interview with Kirat Assi · Kirat Assi — her account and support resources

Check whether the confirmation is independent

Our takeaway: several agreeing accounts can still be one person’s story. If someone introduces every friend, supplies every contact number and explains every obstacle, consider what you can confirm outside that network.

A photo match or phone association may give you another question to ask. It does not prove who is typing a message. Keep the difference between an identity, an account and the person controlling that account in view.

Explore the checks

Learn what phone and photo searches can return, and how to interpret the findings.